


Finding You

by thekatthatbarks



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, same age au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 03:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15986639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: A story about how Kakashi and Sakura learn what they mean to each other as they grow up.





	Finding You

                Sakura covered her mouth with her hands to stifle a giggle when she heard someone run past her hiding spot. She was smaller than most of her classmates so her hiding spot was probably the best. She doubted anyone would find her in the hollowed-out tree. She didn’t even think a lot of the other kids realized it _was_ hollow.

 

                With how long it took, she was sure she was going to be one of the last to be found in the game. When Ino peeked into the tree to see her, her grin widened, and she squealed, “We found you, Sakura-chan!”

 

                Sakura groaned as she climbed out of the tree to see all her friends standing there. She guessed she was the _last_ one, which meant she won. _Ha!_ “How did you guys find me?”

 

                Ino jerked her thumb to Kakashi, who looked bored with his hands in his pockets. _Sometimes, he reminded her of an old man._ “Kakashi did.”

 

                Sakura looked to him in turn with a raised eyebrow and a smile. “How did you know, Kakashi-kun?”

 

                “You’re easy to find, Sakura-chan.” Kakashi shrugged while Ino rolled her eyes, mumbling, “She obviously _isn’t_ since she _won_.”

 

                Sakura smiled at him, deciding to let it go and shrugged too. Kakashi was quiet and didn’t always want to play with everyone – except _Gai_ , which was a strange combination – but he had always been nice to her. Sakura always changed the subject to that boy all the other girls liked, Sasuke, whenever they started to gossip about Kakashi and his mask. She knew it _was_ kind of weird, but she also knew what it was liked to be bullied. _It wasn’t fun._

“What’re we playing next?”

 

***

 

                It wasn’t long after they entered the academy that Kakashi’s father died. Sakura could hear the adults talking about it in hushed voices around the village. She heard harsh words passed around behind snarled lips and it made her angry. Who _cares_ what his father did before he died? _What about Kakashi?_

 

                Sakura’s parents tried to calm her, telling her she wouldn’t understand everything at her age and to just be kind to Kakashi when she saw him at school. She had planned to do just that, but he was… different. She’d thought he’d be sad, but Kakashi just seemed cold and distant. She tried to talk to him and he just shrugged her off.

 

                Even after a few months, he didn’t get any better. Their sensei praised him, calling him a _prodigy_ and the same kids who used to tease him about his mask started looking at him wonder. It annoyed her to no end and she didn’t know what to do about it. Kakashi was doing good in school, but he didn’t seem very happy and Sakura just got more worried each day.

 

                One day, Kakashi didn’t come to school and Sakura was on the edge of her seat all day waiting for him to walk in. But he never did. So, after school, instead of walking home, Sakura went to go look for him.

 

                She found him at the edge of the river with a fishing pole. His green scarf was wrapped up around his face, like he was trying to cover his ears from the cool breeze. He didn’t make any reaction when she flopped down beside him quietly. He reeled in a fish and asked her without looking her way, “What do you want, Sakura?”

 

                Sakura felt herself blush, not having planned what to say whenever she found him. She shrugged and asked back, playing with her hands in her lap, “Why didn’t you come to school?”

 

                Kakashi tossed his fish into a sack and answered quietly, “I ran out of food.”

 

                Sakura’s head turned towards him then and she said without thinking, “Are they not feeding you?”

 

                “Who?” He cast his line again.

 

                Sakura hesitated, realizing too late. “Whoever’s taking care of you?”

 

                Kakashi shook his head. “The Hokage just gives me an allowance like I’m sure Naruto gets. He doesn’t have anyone either, you know.”

 

                Sakura hugged herself, feeling cold for different reasons than the evening chill. “Oh.”

 

                They sat in silence and Sakura learned her friend was good at fishing. He’d already caught five since she sat down, and she didn’t know how many he’d had before then. When he stood up to leave, he sighed and looked down at her. Sakura felt her breath catch. Kakashi hadn’t met her eyes in _months_. “I’ll walk you home, Sakura-chan.”

 

                Sakura scrambled to her feet and they strolled without a word. She knew her mother would already be angry at her for being late, but she had to. “You should come over for dinner.”

 

                Kakashi immediately shook his head. “No, thank you.”

 

                Her shoulders slumped, but she persisted. “Please?”

 

                He sighed again and looked at her. “Why, Sakura? I don’t need you to take care of me.”

 

                Sakura reached out and grabbed his arm, shaking her head. “I just miss you, Kakashi-kun.”

 

                His eyes widened before he looked away from her, the edges of his mask turning pink. He changed the subject. “How did you find me earlier?”

 

                Sakura smiled and shrugged at him. “You’re not that hard to find.”

 

                He didn’t laugh, but Sakura could tell he had a small smile behind his mask. It didn’t take much needling after that for him to agree to come over for dinner.

 

*** 

 

                Sakura both loved and hated her genin team.

 

                Kakashi was on it, so she couldn’t complain too much. She even liked Naruto, though his obvious crush on her made her uncomfortable sometimes. Jiraiya-sensei was an _amazing_ shinobi, but he was strict in training and a pervert outside of it. She caught him peeking into the _women’s baths_ one time!

 

                All of that wasn’t too bad. But she could not _stand_ the bickering.

 

                “Well, you’re just a know-it-all, Kakashi!” Naruto fumed, glaring at the unimpressed face of Kakashi.

 

                Kakashi rolled his eyes as he laid in the grass, his nose in one of those adult books Jiraiya-sensei wrote. She still couldn’t believe he didn’t care Kakashi was reading them. He’d even had Kakashi _edit_ one while they were on a mission once. Honestly, their sensei had no morals.

 

                 “Mah, Naruto, wasn’t that why you asked me to help you in the first place?”

 

                Naruto leaned over him with his hands on his hips. “Yeah! _Help_ me! You’re just _laying_ there, you lazy asshole – “

 

                “Naruto!” Sakura interjected, her patience running out.

 

                He turned on her and she had a feeling Kakashi was smirking underneath his stupid mask. “What? Sakura-chan, he _is_!”

 

                Sakura bit the inside of her cheek. Kakashi _could_ be lazy sometimes, but she hated it when Naruto called him an _asshole_. “I mean, you _weren’t_ listening – “

 

                Naruto groaned and threw his hands out. “You _always_ take _his_ side!”

 

                Sakura huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I do _not_. He _is_ lazy, but –”

 

                “Hey!”

 

                Sakura rolled her eyes at the _lazy_ retort. She glanced at Kakashi and he hadn’t even looked up from his book. But before she could reply Naruto argued, “Yes, you _do_! No matter what it is! Sakura, I was _trying_ –“

 

                Jiraiya-sensei chose that moment to interject. He’d given up on trying to reconcile them himself and left it to Sakura. When she didn’t have the patience for it or wasn’t getting anywhere, he simply stopped it and made them move on. Kakashi and Naruto had quickly learned to leave their personal arguments outside of their missions after the time Sakura got hurt because they were distracted because they were bickering.

 

                They didn’t always argue. Sometimes they got along well but lately Naruto had been picking fights with him more. Sakura knew it was because Naruto was struggling with the new techniques Jiraiya-sensei was teaching him. She didn’t know why it stressed him out _that_ much but thought having the _prodigy Kakashi_ on the same team probably wasn’t helping.

 

                Days like today, she liked to leave it to the boys to figure out for themselves. She’d started to feel inadequate herself and had been debating asking Tsunade-sama if she’d take her on as an apprentice. She was good friends with her sensei, wasn’t she? _Maybe that would help…_

 

***

 

                After the Pain attack, Kakashi and Naruto didn’t fight again.

 

                They argued a little bit now and again, but it was more like friendly jabs than the drawn-out arguments from before. She didn’t know if their fights had been thinning out since Jiraiya-sensei died or if it was something else altogether.

 

                As she looked over the rubble of their old school, she guessed the attack had had an affect on everyone in some way. She had a feeling Naruto had known Kakashi had been one of the ones to die and come back – _even though, he’d had no way of knowing, off fighting Pain himself_. It had certainly had an impact on her.

 

                “Deep thoughts, Sakura-chan?”

 

                Sakura’s head snapped up to see Kakashi strolling towards her with his hands in his pockets. She crossed her arms, her fingers gripping at her skin to keep from reaching out for him for the dozenth time that day. It wasn’t like she’d never hugged Kakashi before, she was clingy for a best friend. But if she touched him, she didn’t think she’d be able to let go. So, she’d kept some distance.

 

                “Just thinking about the work we have ahead of us.” She smiled at him and glanced back to the academy.

 

                Kakashi stopped beside her and followed her eyes. “Most of the debris here is from other buildings.”

 

                Sakura nodded, her eyes tracing the outline of where this side of the academy was.

 

                He asked her nervously, “Sakura, why won’t you look at me?”

 

                She looked his way in surprise to see him watching her worriedly. She fought herself to keep her eyes on him for a few more seconds, then glanced away. “I look at you.”

 

                He sighed and moved to stand in front of her. He told her dejectedly, “You haven’t looked me in the eye the past week.”

 

                Sakura’s heart broke for him, but she couldn’t. She stared at his chest as he breathed and couldn’t even take that. She looked down at the ground. “I can’t.”

 

                He grabbed her elbow and asked her gently, “Why?”

 

                “Kakashi…” Sakura didn’t want to do this to him. She knew how he’d react. But he wouldn’t let this go. “I – I was – I found you.”

 

                “What?” He asked her confused, but she’d heard his breath hitch. He understood.

 

                She looked up at him and let out a shaky breath. “I found you in the rubble before… before he brought everyone back.”

       

                The hand on her elbow tightened. “Sakura –“

 

                “I kept trying to – I don’t know what was wrong with me. I don’t even remember most of it really but… I mean, I was the first thing you saw after you woke up… I’m sure you can imagine.” Sakura’s arms tightened around herself as she spoke.

 

                Kakashi’s voice was thick as he responded, “I’m so sorry, Sakura.”

 

                Sakura shook her head, biting her lip. She didn’t want to cry anymore. It was strange to think that if Kakashi died before her – for the final time – that it would be the second time she’d have to mourn him. He hadn’t been dead long, but it was enough… it had been enough.

 

                “Don’t – it’s not _your_ fault, Kakashi. Don’t feel guilty.” She knew she was shaking but couldn’t force herself to stop. She wished Naruto would come bouncing in like he had a habit of doing and she could put this behind her.

 

                Kakashi pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t hug him back but did lean her head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. It was faint through his vest, but it was there. She could hear it. After listening to its silence, she was sure she could search it out anywhere.

 

                “Sakura – “

 

                “I don’t want to cry, anymore, Kakashi,” Sakura pleaded to him softly as if he could do anything about it.

 

                His arms tightened around her and she felt a few tears slip away. “Maybe you need to.”

 

                Sakura held back a sob and uncoiled herself to clutch at him, her fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket so tight she might rip it. Her legs felt weak and Kakashi – because he’d be able to read her if he was blind – led her to a tree, pulling her down with him as he leaned against it. She was barely aware of what she was saying as she spoke through her sobs that shook her chest.

 

                “You _left_ me.”

 

                “I was alone.”

 

                “I need you with me.”

 

                “I couldn’t _find_ you – you were _lost_.”

 

                Kakashi never said anything in response. But he didn’t need to. He said enough by the way he held her. How she spotted a few tears escaping into his mask, because he hurt when _she_ hurt.

 

***

 

                “Sakura.”

 

                Sakura _hmphed_ and turned her face childishly away from him as he landed on the branch beside her. He sighed in response as he sat down, leaning against the trunk.

 

                “Sakura-chan.”

 

                Sakura continued to ignore him, crossing her arms over her chest. She couldn’t _believe_ him. She didn’t want to look at him. She was _so_ mad. But hiding from him was impossible.

 

                He poked her side with his foot. “ _Sakura_ , you can’t ignore me forever.”

 

                “You _ruined_ my date, Kakashi! I can ignore you as long as I like!” Sakura stood up, so she could glare down at him. It made her feel slightly better.                       

 

                Kakashi rolled his eyes at her. “You don’t even _like_ that sand shinobi. You always complain when he comes by the village.”

 

                “That doesn’t mean you have to _ruin_ my _date_!” Sakura threw her hands out angrily – if Jiraiya-sensei was there, he’d probably point out how she picked up her dramatics from Naruto.

 

                “ _Ruin_ is such a strong word. I was merely in the same restaurant as you. Maybe I just wanted to eat, Sakura-chan. Aren’t you the one always nagging me to eat more?” Kakashi leaned his head back against the tree and Sakura played with the idea of kicking his face through the wood.

 

                “Don’t you dare, Kakashi. You knew _exactly_ what you were doing.” Sakura could still feel an inch of embarrassment stuck to her skin from the disastrous night before.

 

                “Distracting you?”

 

                Sakura bit the inside of her cheek and tore her eyes away from him. “Scaring him off.”

 

                Kakashi sighed and folded his arms. “What do you want me to do, Sakura? He’s still in town. Do you want me to go apologize? Talk him into giving you another go?”

 

                She knew he’d do it, too, if she asked. Even with how uncomfortable just _saying_ it was. It made her anger deflate some, but in its place was a sadness.

 

                “No.”

 

                He didn’t say anything, and Sakura took her place back on the branch, looking down at her hands in her lap. They were quiet and then he asked her with a hint of incredulity, “Why’d you even say yes to him?”

 

                Sakura shrugged, her heart feeling like someone was gripping it tight in her chest. “What do you care?”

 

                Kakashi chuckled dryly. “Were you trying to make me jealous?”

 

                It was the first time either of them had hinted at what was between them, what was _almost_ between them. What had been teetering on the edge of a blade for ten years. What was sometimes the surest thing Sakura knew about herself. And Kakashi had the _nerve_ to bring it up because he was _jealous_.

 

The _gall._

Sakura stood up, clenching her fist. She bit out, “No, you, _asshole_ ,” before jumping down from the tree.

 

                She heard Kakashi’s feet hit the ground seconds after her, but she continued to storm across the training field. “Sakura!”

 

                He caught her hand and she let him jerk her to a stop, her jaw locked. He told her breathless – though she knew he hadn’t run to catch up to her, “I’m sorry.”

 

                “Fine.” Sakura huffed, fighting the urge to turn around. “Let me go.”

 

                “No.” The hand in hers gripped her tighter.

 

                Sakura scoffed and started to turn angrily. “ _Excuse_ – “

 

                Before she could finish her sentence, Kakashi shut her up with a kiss. His hand had shot up to hold her face and he interlocked their fingers together with his other hand. Sakura gasped in surprise, her mind whirring especially when she realized there wasn’t any _cloth_.

 

                “I’m sorry,” Kakashi told her softly once he pulled away, his breath ghosting her skin, but she didn’t think he was apologizing about kissing her. “I know why you’re upset and why you went out with him. I was just –“

 

                “Being an ass?” Sakura finished for him with a raised eyebrow, biting her lip to keep from smiling as she looked at him.

 

                Kakashi let out a breathless laugh as he met her eyes, relaxing at her smile. “Yeah.”

 

                Sakura felt herself melting as she drank him in. _Kami, he was beautiful._ She tried to remind herself why she was upset – at least for the principle. She poked him in the chest and warned, “You can’t just kiss me whenever I’m mad at you.”

 

                Kakashi nodded at her, though the mischievous glint in his eyes and his grin made her think he wasn’t taking her seriously. _He’d probably try it regardless._

 

                Sakura dropped her head to his chest and he pulled her close. She sighed in his embrace and told him, “I’m not always going to be _that_ patient with you, you know.”

 

                “I know.” The kiss to her hair felt like another apology and Sakura let her bitterness at feeling like she was being left on the backburner go.

 

                She leaned back and looked up at him, reaching up to hold his face with his mask piled around his neck. He smiled at her and she traced his lips with her thumb. “I’m still surprised out of all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen your face.”

 

                “I was worried what you would think of the tan line.” Kakashi shrugged and Sakura loved how his grin turned lopsided. She’d never realized it did that.

 

                She chuckled, leaning up to kiss his goofy grin. “You’re an idiot.”

 

*** 

 

                Sakura couldn’t stop thinking about how Naruto had looked at them when he handed them the mission scroll. It was an ANBU mission, guaranteed to be dangerous. But there was something off about how tight his grip had been on the scroll when he handed it to her. She had a strong feeling he hadn’t any choice but to give it to them – there wasn’t anyone better suited or some other reason, she didn’t know. Naruto hadn’t had that expression many times before, but Sakura could recognize it for what it was.

 

                He didn’t know if he’d see them again. A “ _please come back alive”_ was left unsaid in the Hokage office that day.

 

                Sakura hadn’t thought too much about death, not since the Pain attack. Not even really during the war, she’d had a vague feeling they’d all make it through somehow and they had. But she thought about it now as she lied awake with Kakashi beside her.

 

                “What if we die on this mission?” Sakura asked aloud, expecting he’d answer but also not needing it. She wasn’t exactly scared about it – well, maybe the thought of _Kakashi_ dying – so she wasn’t looking for promises they won’t. But she felt an odd sense of distance from the idea of her own end. It must be because she’d never worried about it before and she’d been terrified of Kakashi dying all her life.

 

                Kakashi thought and then answered easily, “Then, I’ll find you in the next life.”

 

                Sakura turned her head to see him smiling at her with that warm look in his eyes. She closed the distance between them to promise back, her chest heavy with emotion. “I’ll look for you too, so it’s easier.”

 

               

                They didn’t die that week on their mission – _their last ANBU mission_ – or the one after, and not five years later either. But Sakura never lost her confidence.

 

                _They’d always find each other._  

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I realize that even simply moving Kakashi changes so many things, but I didn't want to touch base on all of it. Cuz that makes my head hurt. All I can say for sure, is Kakashi doens't have his sharingan in this au.


End file.
